Book #6 Review: For the Children's Sake - Part 1

This book sat on my wishlist for over 3 years. Sad, right? It was high on my "want-to-read" list but I just never purchased it. I knew it was not a book I could borrow from the library, thus having to give it back. I was right. This book will be a resource I turn to over and over again. I will review the first two chapters in this post and then write another post for the rest of the book. This book was too wonderful for me to cover in just one post.



"Foundations of Education for Home and School"

I love that. Both home and school are included. The very first chapter of this book is titled "What is Education?" and it speaks to the fact that true education can happen anywhere, at home and/or at school.

There will be different applications of these ideas for different families. Families have to consider the educational system they are actually up against. More than that, different children within one family may need different decisions as to what educational system is best for them.

Different families utilize different education systems and just because they do, doesn't make them wrong. It is not my place (nor anyone else's) to judge what a family has decided as best for their own.

Consider this: the average American child (and the British child doesn't lage too far behind) spends more time in front of the TV set than he ever spends at school.

Scary, considering that children spent 6-8 hours a day in school. Mind boggling how much television that equals in a week. Do the math! Astounding!

I try my best to understand Charlotte Mason's philosophy of education in our homeschooling journey. This book helped me understand that education is not just what happens "during school" or "at school".

When a baby is picked up, spoken to, and loved, he is starting his education as God planned it. For all our lives we are human beings, in an active state of learning, responding, understanding. Education extends to all of life.

My favorite quote from this book is...

The truly educated person has only had many doors of interest opened. He knows that life will not be long enough to follow everything through fully.

This spoke to my heart. Why? Simply because I do not have a college degree. I barely graduated from high school (the reason for which I will not go into at this time). And yet, I do not consider myself uneducated. I enjoy learning. I believe myself to be educated. How can this be when I have not attended college? Because I read books. When I see something that interests me, I pursue knowledge of that subject.

Last summer, Chloe and I watched the birds in our backyard. They interested both of us. I began to note the different birds that came to our yard. I purchased books that helped us learn about these various birds. I also purchased books that described ways we could entice more birds to visit our yards. I educated myself about birds. That self-education can delve as deep and wide as I desire it to pursue it.

In this manner, I educate myself about anything I find of interest. I know and understand that my life is not long enough to follow through with all of my interests, but education will take place for the rest of my life.

Chapter 2 "Children are Born Persons"

Take a minute and re-read the title of the second chapter. Do you agree with that statement? Really agree?

Try a simple experiment. Take a small child on your knee. Respect him. Do not see hims as something to prune, form, or mold. This is an individual who thinks, acts, and feels. He is a separate human being whose strength lies in who he is, not in who he will become.

The child is a person who needs to grow in knowledge.

Well, what does that look like? I can tell you what that doesn't look like. Twaddle (My favorite "Charlotte Mason" word).

If I were to have to label much educational material today, I'm afraid a large percentage would definitely be twaddle. How colorfully and scientifically we our generation talks down to the little child! What insipid, stupid, dull stories are trotted out!

Wow! Strong words! But I find it incredibly true and accurate. There are books I absolutely HATE reading to Chloe. They are so...well...to put it simply, stupid. How can reading such dross be considered "educational"? What are these books "teaching"? The answer? Nothing. They are useless. They are twaddle.

We ply them [children] with endless questions, the one's we've thought up, instead of being silent and letting the child's questions bubble up with interest. We tire them with workbooks that would squeeze out the last drop of anybody's patience. We remove interesting books and squander time on clinical procedure called "reading skill testing," using idiotic isolated paragraphs which nobody would dream of choosing to take home to read.

And if that is not enough to cause you alarm, read this next paragraph.

Why do I feel so profoundly sad? Dear Lord, the little children are being smothered! They are often pinched, pushed, managed, and neglected into the bargain. The experience of beauty in God's great outdoors is often exchanged for seeing flickering images on a screen.

And if that doesn't get you, this will. I cry as I read it.

Adults have so often stopped giving children time priority; they are relegated to the category of "menial jobs." Many regard them as positively horrible; they resent their intrusion into their time and pocketbooks.

I have seen this first hand. It deeply saddens me. What is going on?

Dear God, where are the friends and lovers of children? Who will open up the wonderful windows onto the whole of reality and let their capable minds be stimulated? Who will accept them as they really are - as persons?

And I raise my hand and shout, "Me! I will!"

I will love them as they are. I will read good books to them. I will take them into God's beautiful world. I will throw rocks into rivers with them. I will climb stumps and jump over logs with them. I will listen to Mozart and Bach with them. I will gaze at Rembrandt and Renior with them. I will live with the children.

Book #5 Review: The Blue Bedroom

My mother sent me this book because she thought I would enjoy reading it.



She was right.

I loved this book. I am not usually a fan of short stories, but these delighted me. I didn't realize they were short stories until I began the third one. I sat there wondering how these people were all related to each other and I figured Rosamunde Pilcher to be a master story-teller to accomplish the feat of tying them all together.

Once I realized they were individual stories, I sat down and read through 1-2 a night. Again, I say, delightful reading. Pilcher weaves a story with beautiful imagery and language. I wish I had her skill.

I had finished the emotional task of reading Our Own which challenged me in my thoughts on adopting an older child and I desperately needed something light to read. I am glad I choose this from my bookshelf. I have now added more of Pilcher's books to my "to-read" list.

I enjoyed this book's cleanliness while weaving stories of love. Each simple story spoke to the strength of quality human character without seeming preachy. I loved that. I loved this book. And I actually appreciated that I could read a wonderful little story before bed each night without feeling compelled to "finish the book".

Yes, good book. Recommend.

Chloe's 7th Birthday Dress

I planned, sewed and finished Chloe's birthday dress with time to spare. Amazing!



Chloe loves the dress, but more importantly Chloe adores the bag (with giant flower) and the headband. You would not believe how easy that headband was to sew. I am thinking I should make her some to match her other clothes too. Chloe loves to wear headbands and we have quite a few but I end up finding them scattered hither and thither when they start to hurt her head. This headband is made with fabric and an elastic piece joins the ends at the nape of the neck. Nothing to hurt my sweetie's ears. I like it.





What little girl does not enjoy a matching bag? And that flower. Isn't that just over the top sweet? I had to inform Chloe that this was her Birthday Dress and she cannot wear it to play in this week. She has such a long time to wait! (two and a half weeks) The flower was a little tricky to sew on. I gathered a long strip of double-folded fabric and then wound it around and sewed the salvage edge (on the inside edge of the flower) to the bag.



This is such a fun dress. I love everything about it. The knots for straps, the ruffled pants, the flowered bag, the headband, the apron. Chloe did a fantastic job choosing the appropriate fabric for a party dress.



Now I need to finish 14 Jedi Knight Robes. Sigh.

Book #4 Review: Our Own

While visiting (interviewing) with our adoption agency director about 4 weeks ago, I asked somewhere around 1,298 questions. Okay. Maybe not that many, but I am sure the number was abundantly lavish. I like to ask questions. I enjoy learning. How can I learn if I don't ask the questions?

So, anyways, after question #972 (or thereabouts) our sweet director stood up and reached for a book from her bookshelf. She handed me said book and said it was mine to keep for forever. (You can imagine my delight at scoring such a wonderful resource.)



The same day our director contributed this wonderful resource book to my personal library, our "paperwork lady" (not to be confused with the sweet and generous director) handed us about 3,000 papers to fill out. Okay. Not quite literally, although the pile on my coffee table might argue that point. (I think it's obvious who my favorite person in that office is right about now.)

Well, part of that stack of papers/forms for us to work through included a 5-6 page checklist of behaviors or illnesses or developmental delays we would be willing to or having the skills to parent.

My goodness gracious but that list freaked me out.

Whew! Thank goodness the kind director gave me the aforementioned book. Had I not read it in a 3 day timespan (literally), I don't think I could have finished the dreaded checklist. Some of the items on that list flat out scared me to death! (and that's putting it mildly.)

After reading Our Own by Trish Maskew, I felt 90% more confident about answering those questions. She wrote about various behaviors and issues that arise from adopting older children out of the United States foster care system. I will now be able to recognize those things and understand that "they are normal for these children." Not only did she describe these issues/behaviors, but she gave practical ways to deal with them. Did you read that? Practical was to deal with them! What a lifesaver this book will be further down the road.

My fear is abating. Once I realized the "why" behind some of these common behaviors and the "how" to deal with it and help the children overcome these issues and past hurts, my fear subsided and I thought, "I can do this".

Now I am reading "Brothers and Sisters in Adoption" by Arleta James. While I know that I have the ability to parent a lot of these issues, the question now comes into play of whether that would be appropriate for Chloe to be exposed to at such a young age.

This gives me quite a bit to think and pray about. We will be praying for wisdom and guidance with the faith that God has the children picked out for us who need to be in our home. We are trusting in Him to guide and direct us to those children.

I am thankful I have this book as a resource in my personal library though. It will be the first place I turn to in one of those "What on earth?" moments I am sure I will have.

Book #3 Review: Shepherding A Child's Heart

I have to write it. I just have to. This is the best child-rearing book I have EVER read.

EVER!

I may need to write that again.

THIS IS THE BEST CHILD-REARING BOOK I HAVE EVER READ.

Did you catch that? If you never read another parenting book in your life, you have GOT to read this one. (Well, if you are parenting children, that is.)



Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp.

It opened my eyes to what parenting really is all about. It delves deeper than merely changing a behavior or simply raising a child to be a success. It points you constantly back to the Bible and what God says about children and parenting.

This book doesn't beat around the bush. It took certain beliefs and values that are even prevalent among church-goers and showed them for what they really were. Sin. Because when you get down to the heart of the matter, you find out what is really going on. Why are two children fighting over a toy? Well, the logical question is...who had it first? Justice is served, right? But when you look deeper into the hearts of both children involved you find sin. Both children are in the wrong. As parents we need to be concerned about instilling the saving gospel of Jesus Christ into our children's hearts. We should be pointing them to the Cross. Showing them their need for a Savior.

The most helpful advice I found in this book for the stage of parenting I am dealing with right now was the concept of appeals. We are working on first time obedience in our home. Obeying right away, without delay and without excuse (or complaining or whining or moaning or fussing or eye-rolling or stomping...). The child starts the process of obeying a directive but can respectfully appeal.

Say your child is building a Lego carriage and you walk into the room and tell her to go to bed. She starts the process of cleaning up her Legos but asks politely if she can finish her carriage first. Now you can say yes or no. She must still obey even when you say no, but she has the opportunity to appeal which gives her a voice. She is not a robot. She has feelings and thoughts too.

Anyway, if I write any more you won't read the book. So, I will just leave it at that. Go pick up a copy of the book and read it for yourself.

Now I am off to write another book review. Hopefully by the end of this year I will be much better at reviewing books. My 2012 Book List can be found here.

Things That Make You Say Aww

It is a matter of fact that there are some things in life that stop you in your tracks and make you say, "Awwww." Now what that is for you depends upon your personality, I believe. For me, its cats.

I saw our kitties cuddling today and couldn't help but say, "Awwww" and then proceed to video tape it since they are so stinking adorable.



Now, say it with me, "awwwwww."

Heaviness of my Heart

Today I am sad.

I am sad for so many reasons.

I am sad because every single day babies are being killed before they take their first breath.

I am sad because so many teenagers are having babies without fathers while so many couples, who are unable to conceive, mourn for the children who will never be theirs.

I am sad because I see so many children in the world whose parents don't love them. So many children who will never know the unconditional love of our Father because their parents refuse to glorify/obey the Lord with their lives.

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A 7 year old child stood in line with her classmates, waiting to enter the classroom at the end of afternoon recess. Three children (two girls and one boy) closed in around her. The leader of the pack of children, a young girl, asked the quiet, shy child to hold her tongue between her fingers and say the word, "apple".

The shy child, feeling a rise of excitement in her soul from the attention of the "popular kids", did as instructed and smiled proudly. Finally! They talked to her! Maybe her days of loneliness in the 2nd grade classroom had finally come to an end!

The group of children laughed. The shy child laughed with them. It felt good to be included. Other children in the line took notice of the commotion and inquired as to what prompted the laughter. Something was explained and more children joined in the laughter, all looking at the shy child. She began to notice that they were laughing AT her, not with her.

It didn't take long for the teacher to walk up and ask what was going on. The popular girl, leader of the pack, informed the teacher of the shy child's sin. "She said a curse word and then laughed about it."

Tears began pouring down the child's cheeks. The teacher pulled her around the corner and gently asked her about it.

"But, but...but...I didn't...say...a bad word..." the child stammered through her tears. "They told me to say...'apple' while holding my tongue...and that is all...I said. Then they started laughing."

The wise teacher opened her arms to the child and comforted her, telling her she understood.

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I will never forget the day I said my first curse word. A part of my naivete and innocence was lost that day so long ago. On that day I learned what a real curse word was. I never knew before then. Bad words to me were "shut-up" or "idiot" which no child should ever, ever say. I didn't understand how "apple" could be a bad word.

Now I know.

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Life has not changed in the past 25 years. I work with 7 and 8 year old 2nd graders now and I see the same attitudes in them that I experienced first hand as a child. I see them in "Christian" settings but without hearts for God.

I am sad.

Young girls, much too young to fully understand, gyrate their hips singing "Look at me, I'm so sexy."

Young girls, wearing too much eye makeup and strutting around in high heels, make coy/sexy eyes at the boys. They shake their hair and bat their lashes and purse their lips at these boys. They whisper talk of sex with their girlfriends. They hang on the boys arms and claim them as their boyfriends.

I stare in amazement at these children. I think to myself that my own daughter is only one year younger than these girls and boys. She is not far off from this age. Next year. Next year!

SHE'S NOT READY! She is not ready to face this bombardment of sexualization. She is only six for crying out loud!

I just want to shake some parents and scream, "What are you doing?" It's out there. IT IS OUT THERE! Whether you want to admit it or not, your children are facing this sexualization in the world every single day. They are bombarded with it on the television, through books and yes, even through the children at school or church. Your child is not immune.

And yet, I see so many parents sending their young children out into the world, telling themselves "They will be okay. We are good parents. We pray with our children before they go to bed. We take them to church. We put them in a Christian school. It will be enough."

WAKE UP!

It is a battlefield out there. A very real and dangerous battlefield. Can you look me in the eye and honestly tell me that your 5 or 6 or 7 year old has the combat skills necessary to battle this evil adversary who wishes to destroy them? Is your child ready to go to battle for their innocence? Honestly?

My childhood introduction to curse words happened at a private, Christian school. I was 7 years old. I was a pastor's kid, raised in the church. I was not immune.

It is YOUR duty to raise your children. Please, parents! I beg of you, raise your children! Don't think the school system will do it. Don't think the Sunday School teachers or Awana leaders or Scout leaders or the babysitter or your parents will do it. God has appointed this task to YOU. You ALONE are responsible for the training of your children.

So train them!

It takes time.

It takes effort.

It takes hard, arduous work.

It takes great sacrifice.

But only you can do it. Only you, with the grace and strength the Lord gives. Please, for the sake of my daughter who doesn't know what all these sexual looks and moves mean, train your children to glorify the Lord with their lives.

My heart is heavy today. I am sad. I know God is sad too. I am praying. I am praying for every single parent I know. I am praying with tears streaming from my eyes and deep sadness in my heart. Please, please, please...train your precious children.