Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Dare I Hope???

December of 2005 we decided to start trying for a second baby. We had heard all the stories of how the second baby takes longer to conceive than the first (our first took us one try.)so we started trying about 7 months early just in case. We wanted our children to be 2 years apart. That seemed to us the perfect space between them. And it would also give me enough time to have my 7 or 8 before I am an old lady. (my secret...or not so secret...dream is to have 12-16 kids)

Well, it is a year and 3 months later and still no baby. I thought I would be holding a newborn baby by now. My hope was that this very month I would have one. The same month as little Chloe's birthday. (which is tomorrow...YAY!!!!) But God had other plans. I don't know what they are yet...but I know He has them and I trust him.

Well, as of today I am 3 days late. (all you women out there know what I mean) I feel a slight glimmer of hope rising up within my soul and I am trying my best to beat it down. Dare I hope??? Dare I get a little excited??? What if I get excited only to have a visitor show up five minutes later. How long do I beat the rising hope into submission? I have held onto hopes in the past only to be crushed and I just can't bear it to be crushed again. So, I go through the days telling myself the visitor will show up any minute. And yet, this hope is rising. A glimmer. Barely visible. I find my heart faintly whispering, "please?". Just a quiet hush of a whisper, spoken only to God...my Father.

I have two days to prepare for Chloe's birthday party (which is Friday night) and so I will be busy...keeping myself completely occupied. Maybe that way I won't think about it and the hope won't come. Maybe. I doubt it but maybe. Dare I hope?

6 comments:

Christine said...

I am praying for a positive result for you! Blessings!

Lady_MSnow said...

Oh Anna....I will be praying that the Lord's will be done. I can only imagine what you are going through. ((((HUGS))))

mom4x said...

I truely hope you get your wish. I will be praying for you. Good luck with the party. I totally forgot to hunt up those notes. Let me know if you still need them although now its probably too late...SO SORRY...I have NO memory..

Purlycues said...

Anna please don't lose Hope.I know what you are going through.I waiting for six years but God did listen to my prayer.He will hear yours too.
Hugs
Pearlin

Tiany said...

I too waited 6 years for my first son after a miscarriage! Don’t lose hope; Gods timing is perfect! The fruit of the womb is his reward so we know he wants nothing more then to bless you with another sweet baby! Seek him out first and the rest will fall into place! :-) You could even get busy preparing for your next baby in faith! I had a nursery up and ready to be used “BEFORE” I ever became pregnant. I had faith that one day it would happen and god was so good to answer my prayers 4 times over now :-) Enjoy your hubby and the sweet girl you have , Im sure a second blessing will be coming soon!

I am praying for you and hoping for a positive result!

Blessings to you,
Tiany

Jayleigh said...

I'm praying for you to remain calm in your heart while waiting. My hubby and I have been trying to conceive for 14 years, and still no such luck... so I know alllll about the waiting.

Hang in there, dear one.