Tuesday, January 24, 2012

My Place, My Job

I have struggled most of my life with knowing who I am and where I belong in this world. I seek love and affection from so many sources other than the only One who completely knows and understands me. I turn to the creation rather than the Creator, seeking what I need from people who fail me.

I look at what other people have and I want that. I know God has a task/job for me on this earth, but I often look at everyone else around me and desire what they have. They have talents and "cool jobs" that I feel should have been given to me. An outgoing ministry leader. A talented choir member. A mother of multiple children. Inspiring authors filled with beautiful words. Insightful and thought-provoking Bible study leaders. I spend my life attempting to create those talents in myself.

I long to be outgoing and friendly like so many I see. People swarm them. They flock to them. They are drawn to them and love them. Why? What makes them any different than me? I mimic their traits but find that I fail miserably at being them. My sense of self-worth diminishes as I realize I CAN'T BE THEM!

This morning as I was driving my dear husband to work a song flooded through the speakers of our van and into my heart, reminding me that God has given me a place in this world. My own place. My own job. My own talents. I choked back the tears.

I listened to the song for myself. God gently spoke into my heart and told me that I Have A Place in This World! The song finished and I hit the back button to listen a second time. The second time through God spoke again.

My job is to give other children a place in this world. That is my task. God, in His Great Mercy, has blessed me with the talents and desire necessary for this wonderful job. Adoption is my place in this world. Through adoption, I will shower children with the love of Jesus and teach them to glorify our Lord with their lives. Teach them about their place at the feet of the One who created them, loves them deeply and knows them like no one else.

As the understanding and knowledge of this rained down on me this morning, I could barely contain the sobs as I drove down the highway. I now know my place. I know my job!

Wholeheartedly, I accept.

1 comment:

Sarah said...

That is a wonderful place to be! To know the talent and job God has given you and to do it to the best of your ability!